LOVE SECRETS...SEASON 5.

SECRET #14: TOUCH. 

Touch your partner. Very often. 

Not necessarily intimate,high-definition squeezing...

A simple hug,a hand on the shoulder,a warm handshake,a poke at the ribs...can achieve the same purpose. 

Touch is a very efficient and natural way of communicating affection,care,trust and love.

Babies who are touched and carried look healthier than those who are touched less.

Touch is more than a sense...

It is a language,a tool,a gift.

Touching someone says one thing:I am one with you. 

In other words,we are the same...I love you. 

This explains why in a caste system, some are regarded as 'untouchables'. 

Touch is a great leveller...and a gap-bridger.  

Sometimes,distance may make touch impossible. 

What do one do? 

Get a picture or frame of your loved one. 

Keep it in a visible place and touch it from time to time. 

It communicates part of the feeling. 

So,are you in love with someone? 

Don't just look...

Touch.

SECRET #15: DON'T BE SO QUICK TO JUMP SHIP! 

So the relationship is no longer as rosy as it was in this beginning.

And there is this new,smoking-hot person catching your fancy. 

Compared to this new person,your current partner looks out-classed. Worn-out. Dreary. 

And you want to bolt.  

Hmmm...Be very careful. 

Truth is that after the initial months or maybe a year of starting a new relationship,everything may become normal and to some,boring. 

Some may abandon the now-boring relationship for a new adventure leaving a string of break-ups along the way. 

This is the recipe for an unfulfilled life and ultimately,disaster. 

 In love, patience is key. 

Just as your parents stood by you from your infancy till now that you are fully grown.

In love,a lot of time is spent on 'stand-by'. 

If your two-year relationship is now boring,maybe you are the one lacking in creativity.

Re-invigorate it. 

Do new things with your partner. 

But don't just run away. 

If your partner is abusive and incorrigible

And has exhausted many 'second chances'

You can leave. 

But make sure that this new,smoking-hot person asking you out 

Is not just another flash in the pan. 

SECRET #16: TEACH...AND BE TEACHABLE! 

Love is not just a playground...it is a learning field. 

It is an experience that should change your life and broaden your world view. 

Find something you can teach your partner...something meaningful. 

How to cook. 

A language. 

How to be more organised. 

How to relate better with people. 

How to play an instrument. 

How to be more caring. 

How to give. 

How to save. 

How to love...the list is endless. 

 Be Teachable...no one knows it all. 

Express willingness to learn at every opportunity. 

And apply everything you learn.

It iis not only good for you...it thrills your partner! 

If both of you teach and are teachable

Then your love will not just be a bucketful of 'I love you's or a carton-load of kisses. 

It will be something concrete.

ON A DUSTY ROAD...

This evening I embarked on an interesting journey.

I was going to Calabar from Abakaliki. 

As soon as our saloon car stepped into the 'half-done' parts of the road,our car was enveloped in dust. 

Clouds of dust.

Vision ahead was obscured. 

Yet,the driver throttled on. 

In faith,perhaps. 

Or from his knowledge of the road. 

Luckily,we got some brief relief when we entered the tarred parts of the road. 

But our baptism by dust continued. 

The dust set me thinking. 

Why so much dust on these parts of the road? 

Then I remembered. 

Two reasons: 

1. This is dry season. The roads have not been watered. 

2. Those parts of the road were not tarred. 

And suddenly it hit me. 

Our minds are like roads. 

And believe me,most are dusty.  

Why are most of our minds dusty? 

Two reasons still: 

1. Most minds are dry,denied of the water of wisdom. 

2.Most minds are not coated with the tar of knowledge. 

Just as a dusty road offers blurred vision and persistent irritation to the driver and passengers

A dusty mind offers confusion,ignorance and chaos. 

You must not tar a road to reduce dust. 

A simple watering will do. 

Similarly, a sound mind is not only the luxury of knowledgeable minds

Simple people with wisdom and common sense still possess it. 

Knowledge,like tar on a road,smoothens the mind. 

This allows sound, and occasionally, life-changing ideas,to travel the length and breadth of the mind. 

Not all of us can afford to tar our roads or get specialized knowledge in advanced physics,molecular biology,medicine,law,engineering,etc. 

But most of us can afford to water our roads. 

So please,do something about the dust.

Get specialized knowledge if you can. 

But most importantly,get wisdom.